Tag Archives: scrpiture

Abundant living

What do people get really get for their hard work?  If we obey the laws and principles of this life, this world, life for everybody can be abundant.

Our father said if you come to me and seek me, you will find me and you will be blessed. We can give all the glory in the word to God, but if we are not to obey his words, and take actions into our own hands. Life turns into nothing.  He has designed all of our lives for abundance. He wants us to be free from every addiction, hurt and discontent. He did not make us to live miserable lives. he made us to find purpose. For the scripture says Everything has been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. There  is no use arguing with God about your destiny. Ecclesiastes 6:10

This is why we must turn to our heavenly father for everything that we go through. He will guide, he will provide, he will set people free.

Book Of Ecclesiastes

There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.

This has been my most favorite book in the bible for a very long time. The first time I read this book was on 8/29/2006.   My first time building a relationship with God. I was in jail for selling drugs. I love this book because it talks about all areas of life. It talks about death, deceit, lying, other people faithfulness or lack of. It also talks about the good things in life. Like, working hard, having everything that you want. It says in the book that everything that happens under heaven is meaningless. It really helped me in the time I was in trouble because I got the worst sentence for it being my first time in trouble.

During this season in my life, I did not like the fact I got the worst of it all. My thoughts were that why do I have to do all this time in jail, fight for freedom when there were so many people who got let off, and was not punished like I was. I really had a hard time of understanding why bad people had it all. When I knew in my heart I was a good person that made bad decisions, and got punished really bad.

This booked help me because it was meaningless. All of my thoughts about people and their decisions and how they were blessed and how I thought I was not was meaningless. Why?

It does not matter what other people get for their actions we all serve the same God, and he makes our plans. He determines our destiny.

I have heard my Pastor and church talk about how depressing this book was to them here recently. I did not understand why? I was thinking that maybe I misunderstood the book. No I did not. God was using king Solomon to talk about every season in life and how unjust life is. When we turn our eyes on God, it does not matter what happens on this earth, to you or anyone else. He is not saying that it is “meaningless” per say. He is saying My children let me take care of it. Give it all to me for I am the most powerful God in the Universe. there is nothing I cannot handle.

This book saved my freedom. I turned it all over to God during this time and I was saved from going to prison for 5 years.

I am very grateful

I had a pretty good day today. Still sober woo woo. It’s wonders how you feel once you fear God in a different way than normal. Really the way to fear him is to be grateful for everything that has happened in your life, know matter what it is. I already had that kind of fear from him. I never have blamed him for anything that has happened in my life, have always been grateful. Why? I do not know why. I am guessing he has a plan for me.

The kind of fear I have now, is what he is going to do to me if I keep sinning, because he really wants to bless me. I have not been open to the blessing and he knows it. I was not willing to put him first, my sinning has controlled my life. Even though I know he is watching everything. One little scare is all I needed. I feel blessed and very different today.

Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot-a new branch bearing fruit from the old root.  And the spirit of the Lord will rest in him- the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. Isaiah 11:1-2 NLT

I absolutely love it when the Lord talks straight to me. It happens a lot even though I did not fear him in the way of what he would do to me if I kept sinning. It also says in the bible those who fear the Lord will be truly blessed. Thank you Jesus for all you do, and giving me the courage to have understanding and gratefulness in my heart.

Drinking

Here it is 4:45pm in the afternoon and I want to drink. As I sit and argue with myself in my head. WTF. Why do I want to drink? Then the Christian song “Hold on to the promises” by Sanctus Real is playing in my head. Why? God promises us great rewards who obey him. It just really stinks that I can drink. I have to think about my the consequences will be if I drink.

1. Not being a good role model for my daughter.

2. Will get angry, crying, and fighting.

3. It causes huge problems in my relationship.

4. Killing myself.

5. Cost money that I don’t have.

6. Ruining my life.

7. Won’t be able to stop if I start.

8. So why Start.

What is the benefits of staying sober?

1. Not harming myself, or anyone else.

2. Being a good mother, and role model for my daughter.

3. I will have a lot of stuff done by the end of the day.

4. I won’t feel worthless.

5. My attitude will get better as time goes on.

6. I am saving money, getting healthier.

7. On my way to being the person I know and Love.

8. Being obedient to the Lord, so I can receive the blessings waiting for myself and daughter.

9. I will stay Sober.

daughter

The Person I want to be

I want to be an encourager, leader, speaker, and  inspiring. In a lot of ways I think that  I am already this person. I let circumstances get the best of me, and act immaturely because I drink. Drinking has taken over my life, and I have done absolutely nothing but drink.

I want to be known as the women who survived it all, not the drunken person who does not have a clue about life. I want to have leaders in my life, and whom drives me to my purpose. Good people who want the same things I want in life. People who has already accomplished these things, people who know how hard, and the struggle to get to where they are now.

I want my daughters to look up at me as a strong women who got through every thing, and they would want to see my courageous moves to make a better life for all of us. That way when they have struggles, because lets face it they will, they can think of their mother and say I conquered it, and I know they would too if they looked up to me. That is not going to happen if I continue. My kids do mean the world to me, and I want them to have so much more than what I did. I definitely do not want them going through the same things I did. I want them to look up to me and know that I love them, and did whatever it took to make sure they are loved, cherished and have respect for life.

I also want to see the world, go sky diving, minister, help people get through their struggles because if people who have had a life like mine, see that it is possible, I could help so many. That is what I want. I want to lead people to Christ, because he is coming back.

I want my life to be as blue and beautiful as the sky. I want my life to be fulfilled, and have accomplishments, set goals and have self discipline, and self control. This is what I want for my kids too. There are to many things to do in this life time to wasting it with alcohol.

Lastly I want my kids and the world to see that I never gave up.