Tag Archives: loving

The Person I want to be

I want to be an encourager, leader, speaker, and  inspiring. In a lot of ways I think that  I am already this person. I let circumstances get the best of me, and act immaturely because I drink. Drinking has taken over my life, and I have done absolutely nothing but drink.

I want to be known as the women who survived it all, not the drunken person who does not have a clue about life. I want to have leaders in my life, and whom drives me to my purpose. Good people who want the same things I want in life. People who has already accomplished these things, people who know how hard, and the struggle to get to where they are now.

I want my daughters to look up at me as a strong women who got through every thing, and they would want to see my courageous moves to make a better life for all of us. That way when they have struggles, because lets face it they will, they can think of their mother and say I conquered it, and I know they would too if they looked up to me. That is not going to happen if I continue. My kids do mean the world to me, and I want them to have so much more than what I did. I definitely do not want them going through the same things I did. I want them to look up to me and know that I love them, and did whatever it took to make sure they are loved, cherished and have respect for life.

I also want to see the world, go sky diving, minister, help people get through their struggles because if people who have had a life like mine, see that it is possible, I could help so many. That is what I want. I want to lead people to Christ, because he is coming back.

I want my life to be as blue and beautiful as the sky. I want my life to be fulfilled, and have accomplishments, set goals and have self discipline, and self control. This is what I want for my kids too. There are to many things to do in this life time to wasting it with alcohol.

Lastly I want my kids and the world to see that I never gave up.

God’s Wisdom vs Human Wisdom

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.

When I think of the word Wisdom, I think knowledge, love, self control, self discipline, and I think experience. God’s wisdom is the foundation before the house is built, or the seed before it sprouts. I have always thought of myself as being wise in many areas of my life. I grew up pretty fast, and was never really a kid. It’s amazing you can act 40 at 13, and 13 years old at 40. The lord is strange in this area of planning for my future and purpose.

There is a difference in God’s wisdom and Human wisdom. Human wisdom is the worlds view on morals, values, and the way their life is. God’s Wisdom, is peaceful, loving, caring, forgiving and so much more. When we accept Jesus in our hearts, God’s spirit is with in us. This is the best feeling in the world when you can embrace it, really feel it in your heart. Last night I was laying in bed, talking to Jesus and the Lord. I felt their presence all through my body. The feeling is like a peaceful case of the chills.

We when have his spirit with in us and feel it, that is when he reveals the spiritual gifts he has given to EVERYONE. It does not matter what race, color, a mouse or insects. His spirit is with everything. I have learned over the last year or so that I have a very unique spiritual gift. That’s is I am able to communicate with spirits, I have learned that in many ways I am Physic. I have also learned of another very powerful spiritual gift, that very few people know I have. God, has not lead me to reveal that right now. I do believe that is because I don’t know if I believe it either.

God has revealed all of this through his spirit. He shows me piece by piece even if I am still sinning. He has great Love for me, and for everyone. He also has a plan for all of us too. That is why we much praise him for everything. We must bring one another together and worship Christ himself. We are all called to worship Christ for he died on the cross for our sin. When we call his name, he takes you by the hand and walks you on the path to righteousness, and leads you to your purpose. I believe this is why he made.

My life is getting pretty exciting when I think about all this. it is amazing how much I have been blessed, taught, and I thank the Lord for everything.

The ones doing the planting and or watering aren’t important, but god is important because he is the one to make the seed grow. The one who plants and waters work as a team with the same purpose. Yet they will be rewarded individually, according to their own hard work. We work together as partners because we belong to God. You are God’s field, God’s building-not ours. 1 Corinthians 3:7-9