Since I have been drinking, I have acted like an idiot, I have lost pretty much everything. Which I am not materialistic, so losing material stuff does not bother me. I do not mind picking up and walking out with out everything except what is important. I have done it many times.
The main consequence that I have endured while drinking is my mouth, and I get mad and violent. Not all the time. I do not have control over my thoughts, and I just get pissed. Once I start drinking most likely if I start drinking I cannot stop. My motto I tried to use awhile ago, is If you start than there is never enough, and you always want more, so why start. Environment has a lot to do with my drinking, and that fact that I fail at everything makes me want to drink.
When I look back at my day, when it comes time to go to bed, and know that I have not done any thing makes me not like myself to much so I beat myself up and drink again. It is all in my thinking, it is all in my head. I do not have to drink. I am the only one who can change it no matter what the environment is like, I have a choice to say no. It is that simple. It takes one decision that’s it. Than put it into action.