When I drew closer to God in 2005-2006, and in jail, when I got out I feared him in every decision I made. He had not only saved me from prison, he let me out of jail. My experiences with Jesus and God, have been awesome. During the time I was in Jail, and got placed in a Therapeutic Community for 5 years. They considered it community corrections, last chance before prison. My first time ever in trouble and got 5 felonies in one night, and then caught another case, and got 1 more felony. In the end of all of this. I pled guilty to 2 felonies I was sentenced 3 years for one case and 2 years on the other, ran consecutively. 90% of people and repeat offenders ALWAYS have their sentences concurrent. Meaning they do their time together. Consecutive means you do each sentence individually. They sent me to a Therapeutic community. I did not like the place. I did not feel like I needed to be torn down and rebuilt from the inside out.
I remember standing outside looking at the sky, saying Lord if I am supposed to be here than send me a sign. Seconds later there was a bright shooting star sailing across the sky. I stayed. I did my best, but it got the best of me, and I went back to Jail. I sent myself back. I could not handle it. I felt that place was for people who have never had a family, consequences, prostitutes, no jobs, anger issues etc…. That was not me.
I stayed in jail waiting for court. I worked on the phones 40 hours a week, and waited for court. When I went to court Community corrections denied me, My heart dropped, and I started crying. I knew I was going to prison for 5 years. My lawyer asked if I could go out on probation. I never had a chance at probation, straight to community. I talked my butt off, I had never talked like that before in my life. He let me out under the condition of If he ever saw me in his court room again I would go straight to prison for the WHOLE time, Needless to say I was so happy and praising my lord. Not only was a in a worse situation he made the situation 100 times better.
Every decision I made I thought of God. I feared him thinking he was going to put me in prison. I am not the prison type. It scared the heck out of me. I never ended back in his court room. I did all my probation stuff, and was off paper in 2009.
I changed my life, but I did not keep up with God. I didn’t go to church. We prayed at dinner that was it.
Just this week I have really been thinking about the words Fear God. Over the last 3 years, and especially over this last year everything I see in the bible has to do with Fearing God. I really thought that I would be writing a book about fearing God.
The meaning is not of what I thought. God teaches us not to fear anything, we go to Jesus and the heavenly father if we are scared, lonely, ETC.. God wants us to praise him for everything. He doesn’t want us to worry about anything. Things happen in our lives to bring us closer to him. After this realization of what these words actually mean, a lot of questions in my mind were answered.
Everything happens for a reason. I love it. I can’t wait to share more about this and how Jesus God has helped me in my life. How I have so much respect for everything that has happened in my life.
Thank you Jesus and my heavenly father for all you do and have done,