I am now talking to my mother. It has been about 8 or 9 months since I have spoke with her. I am not sure what the outcome of this will be or for how long I will be talking to her. We have a weird relationship, never a mother daughter relationship. For a lot of things I was her escape goat.
Since I have been hanging out there and seeing the people there, going out in public, and hearing people talk everyone is complaining, cursing, yelling, gossiping ETC…. I can normally just tune this out. For some reason this time I could not tune any of it out.
When leaving my moms, and the places I have been to and thinking about it all. I have this feeling of this is not where I am suppose to be. These are not the people I am supposed to be around. It was a feeling like I have never had before. A calming feeling.
I have been reading the bible a lot today, writing in my journal. I also have a notebook that asks questions about your dreams and future. I love it. Today I felt as if I could write in it. So I have.
On the way back from getting my one and only Little Linda, I stopped at the stairs and picked up a newspaper. I decided to read my horoscope, (Which I never do). The reading said Oh man I thought I had it with me. I will sum it up. It said you will do things differently, the feeling that I will have will be different in general. The old way of life does not serve me anymore that it’s the old life, and I am off to a new life.
More and more I can see where I will be writing a book. Honestly, that comes from my heart. I love my God. It is truly AMAZING.
I am off to my first grave yard shift. Jesus give me strength.